So here we are. Looking at summer. Everything is blooming right now in the most remarkable way. I love May flowers.
We have been in our mountain house, and I have been working. Living near Moab, I sort of felt bad that I didn’t go hiking more often or that I didn’t really like mountain biking. But I found what I like: I like staying home most of the time, I like working on my home and my yard, and I like getting together with my family.
Our renovation is crazy sometimes. We have been digging out footings for forever. This usually takes a day or so in ordinary construction, but it’s taken us months because we are hand digging with shovels and a jackhammer in clay and rock. But I feel proud too. No one does this because it’s just too much time and effort–but I love it. I love going out there and jackhammering into a rock and seeing it split open. I love taking a wheelbarrow full of dirt that I dug up and throwing it in a pile.
We did a mini-kitchen renovation, put up new curtains, fixed a porch swing, planted a tree, cleared out the watercress, and so much more. It’s been a big part of my life and I feel so much happier when I work for hours in the morning.
But I’ve been doing better about balancing everything as well. I try to spend time with my kids and take care of them. Some days are better than others. Today, BB wanted to go for a walk to see if he could walk a mile. We went for a half mile, turned around, and came back home. He was not quite as enthused about as he thought he would be. MM went over and helped the elderly neighbor. SR wanted to play on the swings and he wouldn’t come back home with us. Ella worked on her online preschool–she is not quite three years old, and I thought she just clicked around, but she knows how to work the mouse and click on the right things.
I love being a mother. I have been working on my school work–I have a finance and marketing class, but I’m also working on data science and calculus. I finally finished a book I’ve been reading for a long time. One more to go, and then I will have finally finished all the books I started reading in February.
There is a lot of joy accepting where you are in life and accepting what is right for you. I get sometimes worried about what I want to be when I grow up–but that question is sort of meaningless. I want to do lots of things, and I am not defined by a single thing that I do.
I basically stopped taking photographs with a camera and I’ve been taking them on my phone for the last few months and I am working on getting them sorted and formatted so I can post them. Maybe next week. I’m not worried about it.
In fact, I feel pretty free from a lot of worry right now. I just do what I can and things are okay.